One vivid memory from the sailing trip influenced my life more than anything so far. I met up with Ryan in Mazatlan, Mexico during my spring break as a first year teacher in the boondocks of North Carolina. I arrived in Mazatlan, no idea what I was doing and had not heard from Ryan in days. My fingers were crossed, my stomach slightly in knots, that our sparse communication had been accurate and he would be waiting for me when I arrived in Mazatlan. This left for little communication between the two of us since we got in engaged that past December and had only starting "dating" a few weeks prior to that. Although we had known each other for 8 years, everything moved very quickly, and our relationship was developed thousands of miles apart with little to no communication, mostly written.
He began his journey in San Diego, having spent the previous 2 months to our encounter cruising around Baja. How does someone so young have the means to sail on their own sailboat? For Ryan, a lot of reading and determination. He discovered this 42ft. steel haul catch living in someone's backyard for 20 years. In need of a lot of work, he spent the first year on their property fixing up the outside. Once the boat was able to sustain life in the water, she was moved to the San Diego harbor where she lived for another few years, being refurbished inside and out before making her maiden voyage.
Sure enough, I learned quickly that I could rely on Ryan's commitments. He was outside of the airport when I arrived, a little sweaty from the not so easy journey to get to me, but nonetheless, he was there just as he said he would. Leaving Mazatlan, we sailed back to Baja (if my memory serves correctly,) where we spent our very early morning's on a 12ft. inflatable dingy with fishing poles in hand, trolling the waters. The water was murky, similar clearness of the south western coast of the US. We were probably on day 4 and without a shower onboard, I was pretty filthy. You know that sticky feeling? Yes, that was me. The other two friends onboard would jump in the water, soap up with Braunners' on deck and rinse off back in the water….myself, nope. I could not allow myself to jump into unknown territory with an unknown depth below our home….who knows what lives down there? I would dangle my feet and splash water on my arms and legs, but I could barely submerge my legs without fear coursing through my body of what was looking up at me, possibly on the hunt. I was terrified.
My ingrained fear of sharks probably stems from my father. To give you perspective, while driving through the middle northern part of Florida during my college days, I spoke with my father, and he said to me (this is an exact quote), "watch out for sharks." I had to laugh because how silly is that? I was miles from a shoreline and yet my father was instilling that fear. Sorry dad, you know that is true!
Motoring back to the sailboat on the inflatable dingy, maybe 500 yards from the boat, I said to Ryan, "I'm going to suck it up and actually jump in the water." Not 15 seconds later as Ryan scanned the water while steering, his demeanor changes and he abruptly stands. "What is that?" He points to the port direction and maneuvers our rather small, red inflatable dingy toward the extremely large shadow in the water. As we are approaching, the very tip of a fin pops out of the water. My insides drop. My toes curl. Fear courses through my veins.
We circle the large mass in the water and can see mild stripes along its sides. From what we can tell, it looks slightly like a tiger shark, but this shark is roughly 20 feet long. Once we circle this amazing and large creature, my insides release the fear and excitement fills my being as this is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. We race back to the sailboat to pick up Tammy and Todd so they too can be a part of this magical moment.
It's now 9am, Todd and Tammy hand us each a cup of coffee cups, and we are full speed ahead to the large mass in the water. As we approach, it raises its head to the surface. There are most definitely stripes, which would typically indicate a tiger shark, but its round mouth and snout confirm its loyalty to the whale world. Not a tiger shark, simply a whale shark. I smile in delight, my body releases the fear endorphins, I have just released a bit of deep rooted anxiety that holds me back from so much. In that moment, I grew, I conquered, I overcame. Those few minutes in the grand scheme of life changed a part of who I thought I was.
As we circled the shark in awe, Ryan cut the engine, and our small blow up boat floats directly overtop of this massive whale. Being Tammy's inflatable, she mildly curses Ryan saying the whale could come up out of the water, slice the fabric, ruining the boat and leaving us stranded in this desolate spot in the middle of nowhere. Thankfully, her fears did not come to fruition, and with a natural high tingling through our bodies, we excitedly motored back to the sailboat where I only slightly apprehensively jumped into the water for my first onboard shower.
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